Peace by Piece Give A way

My goal for 2019 is to GIVE more than I TAKE.

SO!  To start the year off, I want to do a give away of one of my books, the Peace by Piece Inspirational Health Log Journal.

I originally created this journal for myself to keep track of all my life’s little “pieces” to try and find better quality of life. I figured if it helped me, it might help someone else…so I published it and now I want to give away some copies to those who need it!

I truly hope I can give to others this year.

The video below explains how to enter for the give away and the one below that is a preview of the journal.

Links here-

Happy New Year to all my blog followers! As always, I wish you all hope, healing and happiness!



A game of Faith Fetch


That photo is an accurate depiction of my mentality going into this next year.

I’m smiling, half insane from the war against my health/life/fate just waving my white flag thinking ALRIGHT, I SURRENDER!

I never liked the word surrender. I always thought it meant giving up….But lately I’ve realized that surrender is a major part of life.

This year is coming to a close, Christmas is Tuesday and 2019 is rapidly approaching. I am walking into this new year without so many things, people and expectations I’ve had for so long.

The people I’ve relied on for the last two years since my relapse are leaving and starting their own lives.

I’m still sick. I’m still out of work and not driving. I’m single……

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’m devastated that more change is happening.

I have to accept what is happening. I have to accept that people come and go. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season. My dear friends who have kept me alive, kept my heart beating and kept my spirit strong are going back home now to their families.



These people have taken me to doctor appointments, been by my side in the hospital and truly been the sparks of light in all the darkness of the past two years.

Now, the time has come for them to leave.

I had hoped when they did go….I would be stable, back to life and independent again……But that isn’t the case.

I have to trust that GOD will take care of me, even though the human constructs I leaned on aren’t going to be here anymore.

I’m thankful to still have my parents, but feel so much guilt for them having to take me in and raise me a second time.


Words can’t even describe the twinge in my heart I feel about this photograph. That girl…..that man…..all the dreams that were supposed to be…….

The last thing this man told me was “You harm yourself in life when you want things.”

And honestly, it’s true. I’m still kicking and screaming for my existence I planned. The one I WANTED.

I was supposed to be his Mrs. I was supposed to be Eli’s mother. I was supposed to have a nice Carolina home. I was supposed to have a career in medicine.

But now, I am single. I cannot ever have a child. I don’t work. I am in Florida.

Oh it was meant to be. It just wasn’t meant to last.
Kate McGahan

I found that quote today and I think that was the fate for he and I. As much as I hate it, we don’t talk anymore and I have to accept another massive loss.

Every time I think of him, I have to just place it back at the feet of Jesus. Every time I get this horrible twinge of my ache for him, for my career, for my health I have to just mentally repeat “LORD I GIVE IT TO YOU!”

I feel like I’m playing mental fetch with Jesus. Every problem I keep bringing back to the Lord.

I HAVE to trust that GOD has better plans for my life far greater than I ever could have imagined.

I surrender to this next year. I have HAD to surrender ALL to the LORD.

He knows I am still sick. He knows I am still heartbroken. He knows every fear.

I have to make the choice to allow every emptiness in my heart be filled with Jesus. And that sounds dumb and super religious but it’s not about church, or commandments or religion….it’s about peace. It’s about allowing my spirit to embrace the One who created me. It’s about allowing the GRACE of God to fill my heart instead of the bitterness of all that’s happened.


I hate that My amazing hero, Dr. Todd isn’t here anymore. But I am so thankful to have met him and to have known him. He diagnosed me with adrenal insufficiency and GOD used him greatly in so many lives.

Dr. Todd is one of the reasons I carry on. His legacy of compassion must be carried on!

Without a doctor now I am afraid….but I have to realize I am in the hands of the Great Physician.


This verse is my theme for this next year. I want to be someone who helps pull people out of life’s fires and makes a difference with compassion!

I cannot think about what I’ve lost, I will think of what I have to GIVE to others.


I surrender my dreams, my plans, my friends, the love of my life….everything to GOD now.

Maybe now that I’ve truly surrendered all, GOD can begin to work in my life and fill it with the things HE has planned for me.

Either way, I trust Him. As much as it hurts, I know HE is in control.

The Will to Want


We’ve all heard the analogy about the glass being half full or half empty.

Some people always see the glass as half full, others always see it as half empty.


I’m one of these people who sees it as an opportunity to go fill up my glass to whatever amount I want.

I’m a type “A” go getter personality. I don’t want to sit around and whine about how my glass if half empty. I want to go fill it up myself.

Last night I was talking to someone about some recent projects I’ve been doing. These projects are literally my heart and soul in physical form. I was so excited to share my news!

I’m in the process of getting my fiction series out to the public.


And I recently have been doing some public speaking. You can watch a snippet of my seminar below.

I sent this person I had the conversation with and they refused to watch/read them, citing the reason that they didn’t understand people who needed validation.

“Why do you need so much validation?”

I don’t…. I just wanted to share pieces of my heart with you……….

It hurt me because I try so hard to be an encouragement, to still impact the world in a positive way despite all that has happened. I didn’t want my disease to leave me bitter.  That’s why I try so hard to make a difference. I want to be light in darkness.

I took it so personally when this person didn’t want to even acknowledge my work. I felt rejected, I felt like what I did didn’t matter at all. I suddenly felt like my puny attempts to fight against my illness weren’t worth it.

They were right, my demographic was small. I don’t reach many people…..

Do I even help anyone at all?

Why should I try so hard? Why should I force myself to work, write and be an encouragement through the agonizing kidney stones, migraines and Addison’s symptoms.

Why do I still try to be a kind person even though I’ve lost my independence, my looks, my career, my car, my finances, my ability to have a baby…..  I asked……

Their Response- “You wanted too much.  That’s the trick to life, don’t want anything and you’ll never be disappointed.”

Then the conversation digressed to where they said I had differing values and my version of inner strength was different than theirs.

Inner strength is ALL that keeps me going besides the LORD himself.

I was infuriated and heartbroken.

Had I wanted too much?

Why did I expect I would be able to have a career?

Why did I expect that I would be able to have children?

Why did I expect I’d be able to be young?

Why Did I expect anything good would happen to me at all?

I felt like my whole life was my fault. My mind started to tell me I didn’t deserve anything and that’s why things are so bad. I don’t deserve good things.

Is it wrong to expect things?

Is it wrong to want things?


I say no. Because I have to keep hope alive for things.

Not to whine, but this point in my life I feel so lost, so desolate and so disheartened I HAVE TO LOOK forward to better days.

Apathy is NO way to live.

I almost think apathy is worse than evil in some ways.

The ability to turn a blind eye to suffering souls is apathetic evil.

Part of me wants to shut down completely, walk away from everything and just say WHATS THE POINT?

I feel terrible every single day of my life. Why should I even get out of bed? Some days I literally can’t get out of bed no matter how much I want to. That is pathetic on my part.

Why should I keep trying?

Because GOD has a plan for me despite all the problems.

My lack of money doesn’t hinder His plans.

My health doesn’t stop his purpose for my life.

My lack of marriage doesn’t mean I can’t still love others.

My infertility doesn’t mean I won’t ever be a mother some day.

My lack of a job does not mean I am lazy, worthless and good for nothing.


My new focus is just going to be doing the will of the Lord.  I can’t worry about other people. I can’t worry about my expectations. I can’t worry about whether I will ever feel well again.

Thy will be done, O’ Lord.


So to accomplish this, I’ve turned my phone off handed it over to family members and told them to keep it for a while.


My soul hurts and it needs to heal ❤

I will find the will to live again.



A long awaited Victory

Right now it is 11:47pm, I typically never let myself be on the computer this late. But I am literally SO excited and GIDDY about this long awaited victory I just had to tell someone!

And naturally as a writer….I have to write about it, right??

As most of you know, I am one of these type A, overachiever, workaholics.

I’ve been unable to work the past two years due to my health.

Writing has been my “job.”

During my bedridden years, I’ve written many things….

But the core of all my efforts, my life’s work….my heart on paper is my fiction series.

I am SO HAPPY to finally announce book one of my fiction series, Townsend is FINALLY going to be AVAILABLE.


I invite you all to meet my imaginary friends I’ve spent the last two years with! haha….

Ok, that probably sounds weird but it’s true. Fiction writers DO have imaginary friends. 😀

The Release Date for book one is April 2018.

Townsend means so much to me. I hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Good News and Seeking the Kingdom

It always amazes me how time seems to crawl by yet at the same time the months pass so quickly. That old saying is true, the days crawl by but the years fly.

Somehow it is NOVEMBER!

I wanted to just give an update and share some good news with you all. Thank you so much for reading ❤ You have no idea the encouragement it gives me to know people are actually reading my piddly little blog.

I’ve been on the cortisol pump since March.

So here is ALL my good news to report-

1- My disability hearing FINALLY came around.


Though I am someone who prides themselves on having the gift of gab, having to explain and defend my health for over an hour was extremely daunting. The judge was extremely confused at the concept of the cortisol pump and how it both gives me medication automatically and I also have to bolus. I think I spent 10 minutes explaining what bolus meant…… 😀

But, the vocational expert told the judge, “Her condition is grave, any physical or emotional stress can harm or kill this woman.” And as crappy as that was to hear, it was nice to be validated.

I am awaiting a letter to find out my decision. The lawyer said by January we should know something. I am just glad that is BEHIND me and I will take whatever decision is made.

2- Opportunities have opened.

My prayer for this year was that I am able to give more than I take. I asked God to open doors for me to reach people. He has.

I am a freelance consultant for a holistic company in my area now. I am allowed to perform what I need to do from home, on my own time and schedule.

My payment? Natural products such as essential oils., soaps and creams and knowing I am helping people.

I was so afraid I’d never get to use my education in holistic health and nutrition, but thanks to Mary Tylor Naturals I now can.

I’ve also had some opportunities to do online educational webinars-


I am hosting this series this month via Zubia Wellness

I am discussing the importance of a holistic approach to health: Mind, Body and Spirit and how to find balance in all parts of your life.

I was asked to be a part of the Alliance of the Arts Festival in my area. I had a booth showcasing everything I do, books, natural products etc.

It was nice to be around people! I heavily paid for it and probably won’t do that again, but I was glad I could be a “local author” for the day.



(Again, not thrilled with my weight but HEY i’m alive so whatever)

Which brings me to my next point.

3- I’m Juicing!


I have tried so many diets to try to lose weight and get my health better.

Now, I’m doing this juicing thing……

The objective- Nutritional Support. Giving my body what it needs to fight all that is going on.

So, I’ve been juicing every day and will continue.

I’ll let you know if it works and I magically drop all the weight and get massive amounts of strength and energy. 😀 😀 😀

So far, I just feel like I’m drinking grass. IT IS SO NASTY. But hey, I don’t want it to EVER be said I let myself go. I am fighting this steroid weight thing TOOTH AND NAIL!

4- I have a sister in law now.

My brother got married recently, so I now have a sister in law. She is adorable and we are very happy for them both!

5- I’ve been making natural products at home.



I launched my ETSY STORE!

I love candles, bath bombs and soaps but struggle with a lot of the chemicals in them. I started making natural products I could use and I figured, HEY other people might could benefit from them too.

6- My books are now in Barnes and Noble!

Chronically Stoned, Arsenal of Arrows, Piece by Peace are all in Barnes and Noble as well as the amazon/kindle store.;jsessionid=DD64FE6668F4555E0F657BE0B31B58AF.prodny_store02-atgap02?Ntk=P_key_Contributor_List&Ns=P_Sales_Rank&Ntx=mode+matchall

So, I just wanted to update on what’s going on since I’ve been on the cortisol pump.

I am still fighting very hard for my health and having more bad days than good but I am really hoping, believing and trying to turn it all around.

I’ve really been focusing on

Matthew 6:33 (KJV) But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

I want to seek God’s will for my life, over my health, over my finances, over my desire for another person, over my desire for independence and having career again.

That verse says when we seek HIM all other things will be ADDED.

He is our SOURCE.


Posting this song because the words are SO POWERFUL. A reminder to all of us ❤

Wishing you all hope, healing and happiness,


Holding Pattern





This will be the last blog I will write for a while, but before I left I wanted to inform my blog followers of what’s going on and genuinely thank you for following my writings.

The above photo is one I took on my flight to NC. Thanks to the cortisol pump, I have been strong enough to do more things. Not cured by any means but strong enough to handle a flight.

After my brother’s wedding, I was invited to return to my homeland (North Carolina) and stay a while with friends.

I jumped at the chance to leave Florida, even if was temporary.

I got a one way ticket, had no clue when I was going to return.

The flight to NC was beautifully freeing, I felt like the pressure of being trapped in Florida had been lifted. I was going home…to my actual hometown of Winston for the first time since we abruptly left 4 years ago.

(I went back to NC during the hurricane, but haven’t seen Winston in years)

If you’ve never heard this song, it is everything that I could have written regarding the last four years.

Another day in this carnival of souls
Another night settles in as quickly as it goes
The memories of shadows, ink on the page
And I can’t seem to find my way home

And it’s almost like
Your heaven’s trying everything
Your heaven’s trying everything
To keep me down

All the places I’ve been and things I’ve seen
A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams
The faces of people I’ll never see again
And I can’t seem to find my way home

Cause it’s almost like
Your heaven’s trying everything to break me down

That line about the people I’ll never see again STILL stings my soul. My cataclysm of losses took an even further hit when my Hero, Dr. Todd passed away suddenly.

He was my only trusted doctor. He was also my friend. He was the one managing my care with my rare conditions. No doctor will get near me with this cortisol pump. I was supposed to get well enough and learn under him. But now, he’s gone. Sadly he leaves behind a wife, 5 children and a practice without a physician.

Thoughts of him swirled into my mind as I stared out the window of the airplane.

Never, in this world did I think he would have died before me.

It just reaffirmed how fragile life truly is, which made me assess my own existence.

I was flying back to home, but what were my plans? Where was my life going? What am I doing? How long would I be there? What did I have in either place (FL/NC)?

I guess that’s the beauty of when your life completely falls apart, there are no wrong paths to take because EVERY fear I’ve ever had has happened and I’ve survived it.

I looked out onto the open sky and realized that I was truly free….in a strange way.

What did I have left to lose? What was left to fear?

I have no money, no career, no marriage, no kids or any chance of ever being a biological mother. I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved at one point or another. Literally every waking nightmare I could have imagined has happened to me, and yet here I am……

When the plane landed in NC, I felt a sense of relief. I was alive. I was in a place I recognized.

Driving back through my hometown was bittersweet. I realize how different of a person I am now since I’ve been gone. The Winslow who left there was naive and believed mind over matter would conquer anything and everything.

But seeing the town made me realize that even if I were to move back there, I would still have to start over.

My family home is no longer there.

The people I loved and knew there aren’t there anymore.

My life there has ended.

It was like going back in time, seeing things from my past.

It was a harrowing reminder that change had come and it is an unforgiving force.

My life there is over.

I’m not sure why it took me seeing my hometown for that to click in my head. But it hit me like a train. I cried and cried that night and closed my eyes to imagine my life before.

I had to realize that my future was ahead of me. I would have to start over no matter where I chose to live, NC or FL. There was no reversing time. There was no grace in the changes that my life took.

The lyrics to that song kept playing in my head. “Heaven’s trying everything to keep me down.” I know it’s silly to think I’m cursed or being punished. I know in reality stuff just happens. But the little girl in me who believed in fairy-tales wants to blame some curse because it’s easier than blaming myself for how everything turned out.

How do I put this curse in reverse?!

I had intended on staying in NC for a couple weeks, but the emotional implications I tried too hard to handle got the best of me. I ended up getting a case of the shingles…again…. then my neurologist called me with some frightening news and I had to schedule a brain MRI.

I decided it was best I return to Florida after only being in NC 7 days.

When I left, I left with a sense of closure I hadn’t had before.

My life there was over. I saw it. I accepted it. It was time to move forward.

Upon my flight home, it started thunderstorming violently when we got directly over the airport. The pilot informed us we were going to have to fly around in a holding pattern until the air traffic controllers would permit us to land.

The pilot’s flying skills were wilder than what I was used to, he turned the sharp bank turns so swiftly it feel like I was on a rollercoaster.

The passengers grew quickly irritated after we circled and circled for over an hour.

I picked up on the irritation but then caught myself.

What was I in a hurry for? I had no plans to get back to. I didn’t really want to be coming back to Florida but knew it was best. I had no reason to get irritated at the delay. The runway would be available as soon as the storm passed.

I put my favorite music on and enjoyed the feeling of flying around in the sky.

The pilot came on the intercom and informed us we were having to re-route to St. Pete airport for fuel.

The whole plane groaned but I didn’t. I was in no hurry to return to Florida.

So, we flew around the sky until the evening turned into night. I watched as lightning continued to strike throughout the sky.

Would this storm ever break? I wondered.

I chuckled to myself because I ask that question a lot, referring to my life.

Then it dawned on me, I am literally in a holding pattern with my life.

I can see the runway, meaning- I can see where I wanna go and what I wanna do but I can’t get there yet.

I am just flying around in life until GOD or divine intervention or whatever decides it is time for me to land.

This taught me a lesson. All the passengers on the flight were in the same situation. We were all stuck in the air, waiting to land.

Some of us relaxed, listened to our music and enjoyed the wait……others chose to gripe, huff and puff and drive the air steward staff insane with questions of when we would land.

In life, we can chose to fight the circumstances, become miserable, bitter and take it out on other people OR we can chose to enjoy the moments we are in.

Do I like Florida? Nope.

Do I like hearing the man I thought I’d marry tell me I’m not wife material anymore? Nope.

Do I like having to live with my parents at 26 years old? Nope.

Do I like awaiting a disability hearing to determine the next steps of my life? Nope.

Do I like that no one buys my books or even bats an eye at the work I’ve literally poured my heart and soul into? Nope.

Do I like that my hero is gone? Nope.


I am thankful to have a place to live. I am thankful for the people who accept me as I am. I am thankful for people who are willing to take me in. I am thankful to have hope amongst the darkness. I am thankful to have met Dr. Todd and I will carry on his legacy.

I’m in my life’s holding pattern, my runway isn’t ready for me yet.

My next steps are awaiting my brain MRI and my court hearing in October to determine whether I get disability or not.

Then, maybe I can afford treatments and maybe get better someday.

Until then, Fly high my friends ❤

Wishing you hope, healing and happiness,

-Winslow E. Dixon

Below is absolutely my theme song ❤


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A Hero is called Home

A hero is defined as a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

We typically think of heroes in comic books like Batman or Superman.
But occasionally, there are real heroes in the real world.
I was fortunate enough to know one of these real heroes.

This is Dr. Todd Robinson.

He saved my life.

Dr. Todd is being put to rest today after his sudden passing.
I am writing this to honor the memory of a true hero and to share the story of how he saved my life.
When I moved to Florida from North Carolina, it was because I was actively dying from a disease I didn’t know I had yet. I had lost a massive amount of weight, gotten down to 87 lbs and was unable to function.
My healthcare providers in NC told me there was nothing else that could be done I needed to spend the rest of the time I had left with loved ones. I had exhausted every resource through Wake Forest Baptist Hospital and the Novant Health system.
I was dying and no one could figure out why.
Upon my moving to Florida, my parents were distraught to see my health condition. My mother frantically sought answers as to why I was so unwell.
Two streets over from where we were living, there was a small, family practice called Robinson Family Clinic. My mother made an appointment and convinced me to go see this doctor.
I had already accepted my fate. I had seen hundreds of doctors in NC. There was no way anyone could help me….or so I thought.
So, I went to the clinic. At the time, it was run by Dr. H.G and Dr. Todd, which were a father/son team of incredible skill, intellect and compassion.
I can remember seeing Dr. H.G walk past the waiting room. It was clear he was very old as he slowly moved through the office with a smile.

“Wow, that man is old. If he can live to be that age and still be able to work, maybe these doctors can help me after all…” I thought to myself.

But my appointment was not with Dr. H.G; it was with Dr. Todd.
I walked into the exam room and explained my whole story to Dr. Todd. He listened intently and told me to get all my medical records and he would thoroughly review them.
In NC, I had so many doctors convince me all my health issues were made up. With Dr. Todd, I felt validated. He believed me. He knew something was going on and he was going to figure it out.
I left the appointment with something I hadn’t had in a long time…


Once Dr. Todd got my records, he carefully reviewed them and called me back for a follow-up appointment.

“You are a puzzle, Miss Winslow. But I love a good puzzle. We will figure this out.” He told me with a grin.

He proceeded to tell me that he believed my issues were auto-immune and my body was attacking itself. He told me various things he wanted to try to calm my body’s violent attack on itself. He had a plan. He had options.

I was battling so many random symptoms at the time. I wasn’t able to eat, had lost a great deal of weight, had no strength and was struggling to breathe with severe asthma.

My asthma was so severe my 02stat never got out of the 80% range. Dr. Todd was concerned and put me on cortisol.

My first day on cortisol was a miracle. It was like somebody turned a light on. I could breathe, felt alive and had strength.

I called Dr. Todd the next day and told him my ecstatic news.

“Hmmm.” He said on the phone. “That makes me wonder……I need you to come into the office for some blood work.”

He instructed me to hold the next steroid dose (at that point I was only on them a day) and come into the office for labs.

The next time I visited the office, the nurse drew my blood and told me they’d call me with the results.

Dr. Todd ordered an 8am cortisol lab. We were shocked with the results. My levels were 0.08. Cortisol levels range from about 10 to 20 micrograms per deciliter.

We repeated the test to make sure it was accurate. Sure enough, I had adrenal insufficiency. Something I’d never even heard of.

Dr. Todd referred me to an endocrinologist and I had an ACTH stim test done that confirmed his diagnosis. I had Addison’s Disease.

I was then put on hydrocortisone and started to stabilize to the point where I got a job and was living again.

My health was still a challenge and I suffered with a lot of physical pain and autoimmune issues. Dr. Todd’s office was a plethora of options not widely available in modern medicine. He started suggesting I try things to help improve my health.

Every day before I clocked into work, he allowed me to go the office and connect to one of the alternative treatment machines FSM and once a week would get an IV of magnesium.

My migraines, muscle pain and symptoms vastly improved. If I ever needed anything, I could count on Dr. Todd to do whatever he could to help me feel better.

But it was more than just physical health. He had a way of healing your heart with compassion and his abundant faith, too.

One of the last times I spoke with Dr. Todd was before my emergency kidney surgery. I called his office to let him know what was happening and he called me back later, on his personal line, after hours just to make sure I was okay.

A kidney stone had lodged itself in my kidney an was causing it to swell (hydronephrosis) to the point it could have ruptured.

I had to have emergency surgery to save my kidney. I was terrified. Having had a hysterectomy not long before that, I was afraid to go through another painful surgery.

Dr. Todd prayed with me and comforted me. “You’ve been more sick before and gone through more surgery. You will be fine. God has a purpose for you, Miss Winslow and you won’t leave this earth until it’s done.”

I survived the surgery and the next time I saw Dr. Todd, he started calling me the nickname, Seabiscuit (after the horse who suffered trauma but survived to race again)

“Brick by Brick, Miss Winslow. You’ve come through so much. You have an indomitable will.” He told me.

“That makes me think of the abominable snowman, Dr. Todd.” I joked back.

He just shook his head, smiled and went back to seeing other patients.

Dr. Todd Robinson was a hero. All of his patients share similar stories to mine. He was a brilliant person who went ABOVE and BEYOND the call of duty.

He told me he saw his practice not only as a medical clinic, but as a ministry.

His life was a true example of godly compassion.

We lay Dr. Todd Robinson to rest today on July 21, 2018.

I cannot believe he is gone, but I am so thankful for chance to have met such a powerful force of good in this world.

I will carry on the torch you left behind, Dr. Todd.

Love, Seabiscuit

Dr. Stephen Todd Robinson Obit

Thank you to his wife and kids for sharing such a hero with the rest of us. He leaves behind a massive wake of compassion and faith. We know he is celebrating in heaven with Dr. H.G and looking down on all of us.