Called to do the impossible

So guess what!

I failed another adrenal test.  😀

I knew this was going to happen. I knew this was going to be the result. I got re-tested again in hopes of getting placed on the cortisol pump.

Had my appointment with the endocrinologist today.

“Miss Winslow, you do have adrenal insuffiency.”

Yes….Yes…I’m aware.

“However I think it is from chronic steroid use.”

Wait, you think I need steroids, bcs I’m on steroids?

“Precisely.”

Let’s recap here, I was NEVER on steroids before my adrenal crisis in April of 2014.

Was not put on daily steroids until August of 2014.

So, this doctor wants me to try and taper down off the steroids COMPLETELY to try and see if they will regenerate.

Now, this is frustrating on like six different levels.

I WAS NEVER ON STEROIDS BEFORE MY ADRENAL CRISIS!

I have consistent non-detectable cortisol levels and have for almost four years now.

Is this possible the adrenals could regenerate?

Honestly, in my mind it’s impossible. I know how my health was before and after the steroids……..

But, I am going to TRY to see if we can get my adrenals to regenerate. So starting next week, I will start the terrible, dramatic, painful, emotional draining and stressful process of weaning down the steroids.

It is a hell on earth.

I am going to try to do the impossible.

That’s what I believe GOD has called me to do.

I also believe I have been given the gift to see the invisible.

What I mean by invisible is- now I see a world I never did before.

I am aware of adrenal disease, it’s symptoms and sufferers.

I am aware of shut-ins. I am aware that there are so many people like me. People that due to their own health, are home-bound. I see these people now. I know they exist. I want to reach out and encourage as many as possible, as I have needed that my self.

I see those who have had their lives changed and taken away…Young and old.

So, I am going to follow crazy new endocrinologist’s advice…….Unfortunately, once again….my quest for the pump has come up short.

I am going to start my impossible quest to try and re-awaken my adrenal glands.

Never been done before with Addison’s disease.

I have been called to do the impossible.

Ready or not, here it comes.

 

Matthew 17:20

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

 

This is me today- I look bad. I feel bad. My body, soul and spirit are just  worn out.

I have to get up and fight again.

I’ve been thrown to the mat once more, but I will get up throwing punches at every obstacle I come across.

Here’s to the next year tapering these steroids…. 2.5 miligrams every seven days for the next year.

DING DING!   ROUND TWO!  FIIIIIGGHHHTTT!

 

Let it be known, if going off the steroids takes my life- I was prepared to go. My heart is with the Lord and I believe His will is what will be accomplished.