Mustang Spirit

 

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This is my beautiful mustang. I haven’t been able to drive her for a year now. I have an obsession with this car. Her name is FUEGO, for she enables my firey spirit.

I have always had an obsession with mustangs, both the horse and the vehicle. These days, I long to be like the wild animal. I long to run free along the plains of the west with the wind at my back and the sun beaming above me.The free spirit of the wild mustang just intrigues me…… I wanna run away like that, as fast and far as I can go.

BUT- I live in the real world and my fight for life is in the battle stage.

I wrote in my previous personal blog about how my endocrinologist wanted me to titrate down off the steroids. I have cut my dose down by 10mg. I did it too fast…and ended up getting really bad withdrawal sickness…So, I have yet to titrate in two weeks. Ole doctor is just going to have to deal with it. This is MY life, MY body and MY health. I am not walking into the flames of hell just because he wants me on some stupid timeline.

No, I will do this MY WAY on MY TERMS in MY TIME.

I’ve also been going to the hospital once a week for kidney/bladder treatments for my Medullary Sponge Kidney  which causes, I.C, kidney stones and frequent infection. The hospital is two hours away, one way. I currently do not drive so I have to be taken there. The alpha female in me- HATES THAT.

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That is the catheter. I have six weeks of treatment with that lovely, plastic torture device. I have done three out of six treatments.

These treatments are painful but hopefully they will help long term.

Riding back two hours in the car after this procedure is absolute torture.

I am so looking forward to these procedures being OVER! Halfway DONE ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

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Meanwhile, I am still waiting to be put on the cortisol pump! Life goes on.

I am focusing on the happy things in my life-

LIKE-

Gluten free pizza with my best friend!

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My children’s book is in the local bookstore now!

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I actually was able to go to the grocery store and walk around without stopping!!!!!

HUGE VICTORY. All those days of physical therapy torture paid off! 20821287_10213909049947122_1548828883_o

There is NEVER a dull moment in my family. Though I hate not being able to work, I’m blessed to have people that took me in.

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This man right here, takes me WHEREVER I need to go and puts up with my crappy attitude, You, sir- are the real MVP.  Such a good friend….even when I am a total brat. I truly believe God sent you to me to help me, even when I am stubborn and don’t want to accept the help I need.

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My mom bought me a new red dress. I have felt so disgusting and ugly since NOTHING I own fits me thanks to the steroids. I haven’t personally bought clothes in over a year. This dress made me feel pretty for once. ❤

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Regardless of how my body has changed. I am thankful that I AM STILL ME! My personality, mind and heart remain the same.

My spirit is free- like the wild mustangs. Though my body is not what I wish it was, I am still fighting for better days ahead.

This picture makes me laugh hysterically. I feel like this- I look this crazy trying to fight these uphill battles. SOON BETTER DAYS- I WILL FIND YOU!

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