Oh boy, what a topic.
Dramatic Title too huh?
They can be angels or demons in a woman’s life.
As a woman raised in the strict evangelical culture, the topic of men is something I’ve pretty much grown to be very opinionated on.
(Imagine that…me….opinionated….) hehe.
But seriously, I feel like there is this massive dichotomy of the woman serving, gender role, anti- strong woman side and the feministic, independent fierce side.
I always felt like I was somewhere in the middle. I can remember sitting in a church service at my uber-strict christian college (which I shall not name at this point) and hearing a message about a Proverbs 7:11 woman.
Proverbs 7:11 King James Version (KJV)
11 She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house.
Well I can remember the entire row in the church pew turning around at looking at me during this sermon. Cause anyone that knows me….knows I am both loud and stubborn. 😀
I remember calling my dad (who is a pastor) in tears after that church service. I remember crying and telling him how I wasn’t a godly woman and how I felt so convicted.
He gently reminded me that there were many strong women in the Bible and that Preacher Joe Shakour was interpreting the text incorrectly. This college was notorious for making women feel like we were put on earth simply to shut up, serve a man, cook, clean and have babies. (Not that THATs a bad thing…but I believe a woman can be unmarried and still serve GOD)
My father reminded me that Queen Esther was a strong woman and saved her people because she was brave and did not stay quietly in her house. God created me as a bold woman. Not in a rebellious way, but to be strong. I’m not sure I’d have survived some of my life experiences had I been a sheepish personality.
So on the topic of men…here is what has come crashing down in my realizations lately.
Godly Men VS Worldy Men- Actions speak louder than words.
Men are by nature hunters- they go after what they want. If you are pining for a man’s attention he does not truly want you.
A godly man doesn’t keep score. He wants to do for you. He wants to protect you. He wants to take care of you REGARDLESS of what you do for him. A godly man is self-less and wants YOU to be taken care of.
Now, does this mean you become some self serving brat and deny him his needs? Absolutely not. But no woman should ever be made to feel like she has to prove her love. True love is freely given.
A godly man WILL provide for you the best he can. If he knows you are struggling and does nothing to lessen your burden, HE DOESNT CARE.
Oh this one hit me like a ton of bricks.
That post was a slap in the face- a reality check.
I would NEVER want anyone that I loved to struggle with pain alone, be hungry or feel depressed If I could do something to help.
If someone SEES your struggle and continues to focus on their needs, that is the purest form of narcissism.
If they don’t even offer…if the thought of comforting you doesn’t even cross their mind….they DO NOT CARE.
Like I said, I am not saying that you be a brat or focus on yourself….but there is a measure of self respect that is crossed here.
With my illness, I have the constant guilt of being a burden to other people. But the people that truly love me never make me feel that way.
The people that make me feel like I’m not enough, The people that know I’m hungry and turn a blind eye, The people that have heard my cry out from pain, stress and agony and hang up the phone……That hurts deeply.
Even though no one is perfect, a godly man never wants his woman to feel like she’s not enough. He lifts her up to be the best woman she can be.
A godly man seeks to uplift a woman, not tear her down.
A godly man will not condemn you.
You will not have to tell a godly man to be in church if he is able to go.
You will not have to ask a godly man to pray for you.
From now on, I absolutely refuse to hear what I cannot do, who I cannot be anymore, how much I’ve changed due to my illness.
I am not living my life in the light of who I wish I was.
I am living as who I AM.
Trying to be the best version of me; in the light of God’s word.
Little Winslow grew up. She changed. She has fought hell on earth and I will NOT subject myself to rude opinions any longer.
I will not beg anyone to love me.
I will not beg for anyone’s love or attention.
I will not allow anyone to tear me down.
Godly influences UPLIFT YOU!
I’m done letting people tear me down.