When the only thing that’s well is your soul.

Growing up evangelical, I heard the classic hymn “It is well with my soul” more times than I can count. If you have not heard it, click below.

The story behind this song is tragic. The author suffered great loss when he wrote these heartfelt lyrics. Story behind the song: It is well with my soul.

I grew up hearing this song, but it never truly dawned on me the depth of the message.

What happens when the ONLY thing that is well, is your soul?

I have watched my life completely fall apart over the last two years.

I write this NOT to whine but to explain a simple message of hope.

I lost my childhood home, everyone I’ve ever loved- both friends and family, my total health, my independence, my strength, and every penny I’ve ever made.

I watched my career shatter as I can no longer work.

I watched my independence slip away as I can no longer drive.

I watched my body crumble into weakness, pain and ugly scars.

I watched my fickle beauty fade into a damaged diseased form.

I watched my freedom be totally taken away. I am now bound with the shackles of medication, pain and disability.

I watched my opportunity to be a mother, to carry my own child be taken due to disease.

I no longer have any merit on my own. My looks, money, power, prestige….anything the world looks at as valuable has disappeared from my life.

The strong, sassy, slender woman has now become someone who needs to rely on others to function.

But It Is Well with My Soul.

Everything is wrong right now.

God, this isn’t how this was supposed to be! I was supposed to be married with beautiful children, a career and a home!  I obeyed you God!  And yet my life is in shambles?

It is well with my soul.

I know that no matter what I will be taken care of.

GOD will provide exactly what I need. In my suffering, I can cling to the fact that Jesus died for my soul. Eternal peace is mine. One day I will not be caged in this body. One day I will run along the crystal sea and break the chains of my human condition.

It is well with my soul.

This mid-way point between life and death is the hardest road I’ve ever had to walk.

I am not well enough to live, and yet God keeps waking  me up every morning. Yes, even the walking dead still have a purpose in Christ.

I’m still here……

If God chooses to let my illness overtake me, I want it to be known I was ready. My heart was content with the choices I’ve made in life. I know I have always done my best to serve my Savior. I am not perfect, but I can honestly say if I died tomorrow- I would go with a clear conscience.

It is my desire to live again; to drive, to walk, to experience human interaction once again..to serve others.. to be a beacon of understanding…

But if not….

It is well with my soul.

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “When the only thing that’s well is your soul.

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